literature

Serving the King

Deviation Actions

Published: Mar 18, 2012

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Literature Text

From outside eyes we appeared as Boss and Captain. We were.. but behind closed doors, and behind what no one would ever see.. There was so much more between us.

_{or did I only think that because I wanted there to be more between us.. ?}

After missions, as everyone returns to they're rooms, Boss and I head to his room.
We rarely talk, we just sit. He closes his eyes, and I watch him. Every now
and then his eyes will shoot open, and that deep crimson would pierce my whole body.
Truly enough, his glares could kill. But the way he glared at me was different, he clearly wished
to devour me.. and If I were to look away while he was glaring at me, that's exactly what he'd do.
Toss me onto the table, chair, bed, floor, or press me against the window.. Pull my hair, choke me, punch me, make me bleed, and devour me.. until I pass out from pain, pleasure, lack of air.. or all three I suppose..

In the beginning of us, he always wanted to spar with me, I think he just enjoyed my stubbornness, the fact that I never gave up.. although my temper was short and I'd always end up getting serious. He only smirked, and before I even knew it, I'd be numb on the ground as he walked away laughing, it wasn't long before that, that I accepted my power was so much beneath his.
Somehow he realized I felt that way, because later that night he barged into my room and we argued, which lead to a brutal fight, we were both serious.. Bloody and bruised he slammed me into the wall, and said, "Think like scum, I'll treat you like scum".. After that, Xanxus locked the door, and threw me on the bed..
months passed,
I'd attempt to head to my room after missions, only to be yanked by my hair moments later and was dragged to his room.. He did this multiple times until I stopped heading to my room all together.. When was the last time I actually slept in my bed? I couldn't remember.. I didn't understand in the beginning, I thought the Boss just wanted someone there to order around and someone to punish, like he was some damned sadist. There was one night, as we were laying down.. he grabbed my hair into his fist and pulled my head back and "Thanked" me.. even now when I think about it I can feel his breath on my forehead. As time passed, I realized Xanxus is a lonely person.. it's a loneliness that will not be fulfilled by someone being with him, It's probably one of his most difficult inner conflicts. He deals with it so well, so strangely.. and yet.. I ask myself, "When will he break"? "When will he fall onto his knees and scream at the top of his lungs that it's too much to bear"? "Will he take his own life"?.. For me to be able to sit across from him, and lay next to him.. and to be able to think these thoughts with a straight face.. I ask myself, do I hate this man? Love this man? or both? Maybe throwing in the words Disgust and Pity would work too.
I want to see him break.. bloody, frail, and abandoned. Then again, I want to see him in control, I want to be one of his pawns, I want to see him succeed..

I want to be with him always ..

_{_{but is that because he's trained me to act that way? Or is it truly out of my own will?.. I can't tell anymore.}

When he's hungry, I'll feed him.
When he's angry, I'll be his punching bag.
When he's lonely, I'll be a warmth to hold.
When he's in the mood, I'll be his toy.
When he wants a show, I'll give him one.
When his hands need to stay clean, I will lend and dirty mine.
anything and everything, all of it for him. The lonely King, That damned Boss. Xanxus..

_{_{Because after accepting such a fate, even thinking about returning is futile.}}}

_{Hi everyone,
I was just on Tumblr and randomly
clicked the "Katekyo Hitman Reborn" tag,
and there was SO much Xanxus x Squalo
pictures. Mostly of Squalo kissing Xanxus's hand
as if he's showing his loyalty, or pictures of Xanxus
beating the crap out of Squalo, and then later on holding
and thanking him for always being there. It made me sad..
but totally hit me with a fanfiction Idea. I don't want to drag
it out, so I tried to make it short and simple all from Squalo's
Point of view.. And who knows, I may just make another part
later coming from Xanxus's part of view.

this is BL ( boy's love )
don't comment/read if you can't appreciate the way I express what I see, thank you ^__^

Xanxus and Squalo belong to: Akira Amano
I did not draw the picture, I found it on Pixiv

*sigh* now Bad Romance is playing in my head xDD
Enjoy}